Monday, April 9, 2012

Gizmo

I haven't posted on my blog for a long time. I knew that this had to be the next post I made, but it has taken me quite some time to be ready to post it. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be ready. But here it is.

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On December the 17th 2011, Gizmo got sick. The last few years of managing chronic kidney disease and recurrent urinary tract infections resulted in a very serious situation. Gizmo spent a week in hospital, before coming home for a week over Christmas. That was one of the most precious weeks of my life. On New Year's Eve, Gizmo had to go back into hospital. The details are many, but she required surgery to remove an obstruction from her ureter, made it through, but then developed a multi-drug resistant kidney infection (from all her previous UTIs) that went systemic. I did everything that was possible to save her, but it still wasn't enough.

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On Saturday January the 14th 2012, I had to help my darling Gizmo leave this world. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She went peacefully and with dignity, at home in her birthday bed, held by me and surrounded by family. She was only fifteen years old.

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This is why I haven't been posting. I am now learning to face a world without Gizmo. It will be three months next Saturday, and the truth is that time has healed nothing. My three girls are my world and my soulmates, and now part of that world is gone. It's not something you get over.

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I have so much I could say about Gizmo, if I could only find the words to do her justice. She was a cat full of kindness, love, and snuggles. Her purr could be heard from the other end of the house. She had a myriad of little habits and quirks that were precious. And she was beyond beautiful.

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Now the three of us are learning how we fit without our fourth. Sahara misses her friend, Dim Sim is blossoming in the absence of her nemesis, and I am just without. I have been so blessed to have wonderful friends, both in person and on the internet. People who have supported me through every stage of this journey, and continue to do so. Thank you.

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And to my Gizmo, thank you for being my friend, my guide, my love. I will love you forever, and will hold you in my heart every day until we find each other again.

Gizmo on her 15th birthday